Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend

Friendship week is almost over. But not without a short interview with my good friend and dear roommate Vivian Danella Zamora.

Vivian has a nickname in our room. She is The Friend. She acquired this nickname Freshman year. You see Viv has a way of easily connecting to people. She becomes friends with so many of the people she comes in contact with. It is a real, sincere, and deep friendship too. I asked her how she did it. She replied. "It helps that I am extroverted. But really in order for others to trust you and become friends with you, you must make some effort. You have to want to get to know them, and you have to trust them too. Then both parties have to give."

In her experience she has found that when relationships are not founded on friendship, it doesn't take very long for the "love" to wear off and to begin to see the person for who they really are. For better or for worse. She believe that building friendship first is the way you get to know the other person. And it is good to know the person you are giving your heart to.

We both agree when we say that friendship will help relationships last. When relationships are solely based on love, the love will eventually fade and there will be no friendship to fall back on.

Think about your best friends. Now consider what you do for them. Consider why you do it. When I think of my roommates and consider why they do my dishes on occasion, or help me during a stressful week to get things done, I come to this conclusion. Since we have developed such a deep friendship we have learned to love each other. That means we are willing to sacrifice for each other. We sacrifice unselfishly and unconditionally. This can be traced back to a solid foundation of friendship that is continually growing in our lives.

I want to end this week with the perspective of a general authority. Elder Hafen said:

"Be friends first and sweethearts second. University professor Lowell Bennion once said that relationships between young men and young women should be built like a pyramid. The base of the pyramid is friendship. And the ascending layers are built of things like time, understanding, respect, and restraint. Right at the top of the pyramid is a glittering little mystery called romance.

Now, you don’t have to be very smart to know that a pyramid won’t stand up very long if you stand it on its point instead of its base. In other words, be friends first and sweethearts later, not the other way around. Otherwise, people who think they are sweethearts may discover they can’t be very good friends, and by then it may be too late."