The Cake Has Been Cut.

The Deal has been Sealed.

You are married. Now what? A little something called life. In fact it is a lot of something called the rest of your life, and eternity. Well how do you make that work? I want to spend a couple of days addressing ideas of how to make marriage work. (As if I knew). I will mostly take the perspective of the experiences people who are actually married have shared with me.

There are a lot of small things that make marriage work, but I believe there are also a lot of essential things that have to be in place in marriages or else there is no hope of survival.

The first one I would like to address is the idea of Sacrifice.

Sacrifice is huge in a marriage. For most of ones life, up to the point of marriage, one tends to think of themself. What do I need? What makes me happy? What do I want to eat for dinner?

I have found in college that "I" is even more extreme. I am thinking about my grades. About my major. About my life plan. And although I love my roommates, the rest of my life is not in Allred 11 with them. But when it comes to marriage the rest of your life is with that one special boy/ girl. So how do we transition from the me perspective to the we perspective? Sacrifice.

Sacrifice includes giving up some things that can be small or significant. Sacrifice is combinding dreams, goals, or ambitions. Sacrifice is not limiting your potential, but it is seeking to join in reaching potential. Marriage doesn't mean we have to give up everything for the other person, but we will have to give up some things.

For example (and this is really simple but true) when married one will probably have to give up Thanksgiving Dinner with ones family every other year, perhaps more often, perhaps less.

Sacrifice is not a bad thing at all either. I sometimes feel that when we say we have to sacrifice something it is negative. Sacrificing can be positive and wonderful. You might have to sacrifice extended family time at Christmas, but that doesn't mean you will not create your own traditions as husband and wife. And those traditions will become so meaningful to the partnership and family.

So learn to sacrifice. And learn to sacrifice in love and patience. Know that if you sacrifice something now, the future may hold opportunities to obtain that which you sacrificed. Think of sacrificing as leaving things on hold because you know what is most important and what you need to do for your marriage. We may not be able to have everything we have ever wanted right now, but give it time, it will come if we are doing what is right and placing priority on the right things.

Remember Dallin H. Oaks good, better, best talk? If not check it out at lds.org. And as you sacrifice keep those ideas in mind.