Well I was just considering today another characteristic that might be included in marriage, and I am not quite sure how to word it correctly. The essential idea of this characteristic is that the partners in the marriage are willing to overcome fear and risk it all. You see when I say that it sounds immature and irrational, but that is not the kind of risk taking I am talking about. I am thinking more along the lines of intelligent risk taking. Let me back this up with an example or two.
Let's imagine you meet this boy or girl and he or she is everything you have ever dreamed of and wanted. Practically perfect in every way. Then you get to know him or her and a flaw here and there comes through but they are minor and you are in love so no big deal. Then he brings up the marriage question and it is all of the sudden something real and almost tangible and you have to consider if you love them enough to look past the flaws you have seen come through and you have to consider if he has the essentials of the eternal companion and if you work well together. Really you must consider could we make it? And even if you are 99.9% sure you want to be with the person sitting across from you for the rest of your life and into eternity there might be a small moment of fear. Or maybe you are not sure at all and there is a large moment of fear. In either of these circumstances there has to be a leap from fear to faith. I was reading a book that said "covenant marriage requires a total leap of faith." So maybe it is not so much a risk as it is a leap. A real leap into an unknown world. All of our lives up until that point our mindset is on dating dating dating to find the right person. What happens when we find them. We have to shift from the dating dating dating to the commitment commitment commitment mindset. And it is different. And maybe I am the only person in the world that thinks this, but I think it is a little scary too.
What if you are walking along in this life and the right person for you is there but you fail to recognize it. Or is there more than one right person so if you miss the first chance you get a second shot. But what if the first chance was a more compatible choice and you missed it. Or what if you only get one chance. What if you don't have the guts to take the leap of faith and you lose the one thing you have always wanted. What if you are so focused on other goals and opportunities that you miss your greatest goal and opportunity even if he is standing on your doorstep knocking. What if you never answer.
Again, I might be the only person in the whole world that considers this but I think in order to change your status on facebook from relationship to engaged to married there has to be a moment where you overcome fear and take that leap of faith.
I feel like I just went on a rant. And you probably think I am done. I am not.
All the sudden you are married and practically perfect in every way comes screeching to a halt because you encounter your first major life changing decision... now what? You will probably have to take a chance somewhere along the line if you are following your instinct and trusting that what you feel is right.
So maybe in the end this overcoming fear and risking it all is really a leap of faith and trusting in the knowledge you have been given that what you are doing is right.
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